Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Winter Blues and my great idea

Me and Chloe chilling.
This is my friend Todd who basically took care of me every day for the past few months. He is also really good at getting my cold caps on really tight when I get chemo.
Here I am getting chemo writing my blog. It's a really long day when we do the caps. It takes an extra 5 or 6 hours.

I am just plain sick of this weather. I cannot believe it has not gotten over 30 degrees in weeks and weeks. The sun is non-existent here and the 10 day forecast never shows me any sign of relief. Usually I love winter but that is because I LOVE snowboarding. Since I cannot walk up the stairs without feeling like I could faint, there is no way in hell I could suit up and get out on the mountain and make it down the hill. Snowboarding was the highlight of my winters, but now I have nothing to look forward to. It’s only mid February and time is going slow since I am sick in my house.

This past Valentines day Kevin and I decided to go up north to Frankenmuth to the indoor waterpark. It was me, Kevin, about 200 screaming kids, and about a million pounds of chlorine since I’m sure these kids were peeing, pooping and gross stuff like that in the water. We went on the water slides a couple times and went in the hot tub, which had so much chlorine it was making us cough. We had a god time, but it gave me a great idea. If I had the money I would totally make this happen. Why do the kids get all the fun??? Why doesn’t someone make an adults indoor waterpark??? I’m talking an indoor getaway for adults from the long Michigan winters.

Here is how I see it… A huge place connected to a hotel. Artificial sunlight, a beach with sand and clear blue water, lounge chairs everywhere, a lazy river, some hot tubs and maybe some waterslides for fun. Then, they could have some tropical music playing, and a pool with a swim up bar where they serve beer and frozen mixed drinks. What adult would not want to go there?? I’d probably make weekly trips. It could be like an indoor Cancun. I think it’s a brilliant idea and I really wish some day (lets say in the next week or so) someone builds one.

Health update and Penguin Cap update:

My health has been struggling. I’ve been really sick and tired. Weak, sore, the list goes on and on. I’ve had to have people, like my friend Todd, take care of me every day since it is so hard for me to move around. I’ve had to have another blood transfusion. Pretty soon I will have a scan and we will hopefully see if this chemo is even working. The Penguin Caps may not be working anymore with this new chemo I am on called Abraxane. This past Friday I started having hair fall out. Every day it got worse and worse. I got one more round of chemo hoping that it wouldn't be the end of my hair, but it didn't work out that way. Today my hair was coming out 100 strands at a time. I was making a mess all over the house. Kevin shaved my head and I am now once again, for the third time in my life bald. The Caps worked for Gemzar, Cisplatin, and Carboplatin, but Abraxane is too strong for them. It's supposed to be easier on your body and bone marrow which is good since I was having to have so many transfusions, but it's really hard on hair loss. Oh well. Here is my list of positives now that I am bald...

1. Chemo will be super short. Maybe an hour and a half tops.

2. No more hair falling all over the house

3. I don't have to freeze my head anymore

4. I don't have to pay for the cold caps

5. I found a couple cute new wigs I should be getting within the next week

6. I get to hear everyone tell me how I can pull off the bald look

7. I don't have to be extra careful not to make my hair fall out when I shower

8. No more shampoo (since I am really smell sensitive and I end up hating every shampoo smell within a week of using a new one)

9. No more stressing about if all my hair will fall out or if it is just thinning. The mourning process is pretty draining on the spirit.

Anyway, I am convinced the caps work for some chemos, but not all. Not Abraxane.

I'll get some bald pics and show you all as well as new wig pics once I get them.

Trying my hardest to be positive


darker pink dots