June 6th came and went and I'm sure you were all waiting for my blog entry. I had one in the works, but was completely sidetracked by my grandfather's illness. My grandpa Joe who is one of the strongest men I have known in my life is really sick in the hospital. It all started with gall stone blockage in a bile duct that probably went too long for an 80 year old man. After the procedures to remove the stone, things started to go downhill quickly. Blood pressure dropped, liver stopped working, heart rate spiked, he got a bleeding ulcer, and the his kidneys failed. I have been living in heartache at the hospital for quite some time. Please pray or send your good vibes to us (whatever your thing is). This is very difficult for me. I asked Kevin about my blog and what I should do. I has a post ready to publish with pictures and everything, but it felt too positive to post considering how I have been feeling. Then again, June 6th came and I'm sure some of you want to know how it felt to have that day come and go. This post is for all of you. I promise I won't drop off from the blog, but you have to bear with me through these VERY difficult times.
Here is the blog I wrote a while ago.....
Well we've been waiting for it. No one has been waiting for it as much as I have. Kevin is a close runner up though. It's been two years since my re-diagnosis and I am still alive. Two years since I was told I had 12 to 24 months to live and I am up and running (literally). Life is great. I feel great. This morning I went over what I was grateful for and of course I mentioned that I was grateful I was alive, grateful for the fact that my body is functioning on this beautiful June morning.
Then I called my dad and wished him a Very Happy Birthday and then I went on to begin the celebration for myself still being alive on the last day I was supposed to have to live if things went well with my prognosis. Guess things have gone really well.
Still this day was emotional. Of course I cried. (I seem to cry about everything now. Cancer made me emotional) I cried because I was scared that my next blood test would be bad and I would feel a fool for celebrating. Then I started doubting the fact that I should celebrate this day. What if one month from now I die from cancer??? Is it really that great that I survived the two years and had an extra month??? I was sad that I didn't have this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't know what I expected to have happen.
Once I got myself together though and started thinking right. I knew this day wasn't going to erase all my doubt. Really this day passing gave me the opportunity to stop obsessing about a prognosis I got. One less thing to have on the negative side of my brain. I knew it would be an emotional day and it was. Anyway, the rest of the day was great. We had some family and friends over to help celebrate. I got some gifts even and man do they all know me well. Whole Foods gift cards and book gift cards to feed my reading habit.
As you can see from these pictures I went skydiving this past weekend. It was amazing. Nothing like the feeling when you're about to jump looking out the plane. If you look closely you can see my friend Todd in the plane getting ready to jump next. We went as a birthday present to ourselves with Kevin and my cousin Luc.
We did a front flip out of the plane. I liked free falling upside down.
It is so cold up there. We jumped from 14,000 feet. The air was ice cold, but it didn't really matter. The free fall lasted a long 60 seconds.
We came in for a perfect landing (Kevin, not so much). My ears were popping, but I had so much fun and want to go again. I am such an adrenaline junkie.
Right after that we went to Cedar Point with my brother Taylor and my sister Marina for another action packed day of rollercoasters. Man did I have a great weekend.
Since I wrote this blog obviously things have gone bad with my grandpa Joe. I did get my blood tested for the tumor markers and I am in fact doing good. It went down over 30 points. That was great news and what I am doing combined with hormone therapy seems to be working. Life sure has its ups and downs.