Well, My PET scan results came back Friday and I learned a few things.
First, that my mind is a powerful thing.
Second, that the hormone therapy I am on, Femara, can cause pain especially in the bones
Third, that I am not supposed to die soon, like I have been thinking in the back of my head where that evil little part of my brain lives
On Friday my doctor called me and I frantically dropped my sister's call to switch over and get the news before the weekend. I first ask her the overall impression of my scan before we get into specifics. That way, I can pay attention to her details before I'm trying to figure out if the cancer has spread like wildfire through my body as she talks about one detail at a time. All in all she said she was pleased with the results. As the weight of the WORLD seemed to slip off my shoulders, I asked for the details.
I had just started feeling some painful spots on my spine I was very concerned about. Every time I have a scan I start aching all over my body pinpointing where possible new tumors could have grown. I do have a couple active spots on my spine(not masses, but just where there is possible cancer activity), but we have known about those for a while and they never had pain. Like I said, there is no hiding from PET scans. They show where tumors could form before it even happens. Anyway the point is that there were no NEW spots on my spine and the old ones are actually doing less than they were before which is great. The glucose uptake is half what it was the last time I had a PET scan. There was absolutely no activity on these new sights of pain on my spine I have been noticing.
My liver had developed new spots a few months ago at my last imaging. We don't really know when these appeared because they were found on an ultrasound and not CT scan which might have missed them a few months before that. (did they appear before or after my last CT scan we will always wonder) The hormone therapy can sometimes cause growth first and then actually start working, so those new spots could have been a result of starting hormone therapy. Anyway, those spots were still there but they were less active too. Once again the large (original) liver masses have shrunk and decreased in activity significantly.
But this good news has to come with a drawback. There is one spot on the right side of my liver that is very active. I don't know why everything else can be less active and smaller except one mass. My doctor said you can sometimes get a mixed response from treatment. Of course the next night of sleep, when I usually feel and focus on all of my pains, I didn't notice the spine pain anymore, but right side of my abdomen hurt right where my liver is. The mind is a VERY powerful thing and mine seems to have a tight grasp on me lately.
I know a lot of the pain is in my head. I am ALWAYS focusing on it at night when I lay there trying to fall asleep.
Femara (my hormone therapy that gets rid of estrogen in my body) causes bone pain. Zomeda to help my bones grow also causes bone pain. It's nice to know this so I don't always have to think "TUMOR!!" when I have a pain in my bones. I try to tell myself this all the time, but it's hard when you are having aches all the time.
All in all I am happy with my PET scan results. I really slacked on the whole health regimen for a while when my grandpa was in the hospital and everything. I am getting back on track now. Back to the juicing, sprouts, enemas, supplements, sauna and exercising and all all the other stuff. The physical stuff is easy. What I really need to start focusing on is my mental health. Kevin has told me I have been pretty negative lately (I think I've improved since I got my results). I've been worried about my health a lot lately with really bad expectations. That negative thinking goes against everything I try to focus on mentally. It's hard to change though. Fear is a powerful emotion. I'm ready to stop living in fear and focus on what I can control. What am I doing worrying??? Accomplishes nothing and makes life suck while I'm doing it. Someone needs to slap me in the face and say snap out of it. I need to get a grip on my mind and release the grip it has on me. Good test results can help with that so I will start from there.
Here's to more stability in my life. Thank you a for listening. Another PET scan, and yet again some results I am happy with.