BBQs and My Self Worth

THURSDAY, JUNE 26, 2008 01:12 PM

How cute is our nece Lauren?
And how cute is our nephew Drew in his spiderman pjs.
Hi everyone,

Well it seems like a while since I have written about myself and not a Hippocrates lesson. Well everything is good. I’m getting infusion right now and Family Feud is on so that’s nice and entertaining. I’m pretty good at the fast money part. As far as my health goes, I feel pretty good. My eyelashes fell out again and that is frustrating, but they are already starting to grow back. My blood tests keep hovering around 122, 139, and 136. They are all so close we can’t really draw any conclusions from that. We’re at the watch and wait part of my treatment. I am still getting Avastin and Zomeda (which is why I am at infusion).

Right now I am considering starting the Lupron shot which stops my ovaries from working. This is because my cancer is estrogen receptive and I am starting to have more estrogen in my body now that I have stopped chemo. Natural cure or medicine? What makes me feel good, or what has proven results? Chemo or no chemo? Radiation or no radiation? Hormones or no hormones? Trust my diet or trust the doctor? You feel my pain?

This past weekend we got to see Aaron Mottaghi and Brianna (our good friends from Austin) because they were in town. We met them at a BBQ about a quarter mile from where my uncle David used to have a house at. (I showed Kevin your old house, which still looked very nice). It was great seeing them and hanging out. I miss my Austin friends so every time we get to see someone who is home visiting in Michigan it makes me feel like we’re not loosing touch. After that BBQ we went to another BBQ with Kevin’s friends. It was great. They had all these vegetarian foods and I found a really good veggie burger I like, which is the Boca burger. Yeah! I get so excited when I find a new food that tastes good and is good for me.

Here is something I learned I need to work on while I was at this second BBQ. I need to work on not feeling like a looser when people ask me “what do you do?” I used to say “I was a materials planner at a semiconductor company.” And saying was made it not a lie, but got me out of saying that I am on disability. It has been too long now to keep living in the past and now I just blurt out “I’m on disability. I don’t do anything.” This is untrue that I don’t do anything, but I technically don’t have a paying job, and that is what is meant by that question.

I do plenty though. I grow grass and sprouts, I make juice daily, I write on my website and write for my book, I make jewelry, I help my dad do wedding photography., I work out and I am starting a young women’s breast cancer support group at Gildas. Soon I will be putting together a huge fundraising event for Gildas. So, I need to stop feeling bad about the fact that I don’t have a job I go to daily and I need to start realizing that some people were meant to do different things. My life has taken a 180 turn and just because I am not doing what 85% of people are doing does not mean I am worth less. I think I am doing some cool things. These are things I would have never done in my life if I would have kept working the 9-5 job, because I wouldn’t have time for them. Okay, glad I wrote that because now I think I am cool again and I have a purpose.

Speaking of super cool tings that I do….the breast cancer support group is formed. We picked the name, The Rack Pack. I like it. We are a support group for women in their 20s and 30s with breast cancer. We meet the second Tuesday of the month from 7pm to 8:30pm at Gildas club in Royal Oak. Our first meeting is July 8th. I’m very excited to get this group going. I’m working on getting a flier put together.

My next lesson is on digestion. It’s some good info. Very useful. I’ll be putting it up very soon.

Mini love list:
Love grass in Michigan
Love summer in Michigan
Love thunderstorms (minus loosing power)
Love BBQs
Love my garden which is doing awesome by the way
Okay, you will all be hearing from me very soon. I promise. Almost done with infusion

Shannon : ) : ) : )
Breathe and smile