Chemo #4 Was Not So Fun

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2006 10:47 AM

The trend is when I feel completely shitty = no pictures. Think we forgot the camera when I felt good and went out with friends, but other than that one day there were no photo ops because chemo had me feeling like total crap for a while.

Hi everyone. I know it's been a while since I gave an update. I felt pretty bad last week (the worst week I've had yet) so of course I didn't write in the journal. I always wait until after I feel really bad to write about it. That’s how I remain positive about everything in my journal entries. I just gave away my secret. One thing I can say about feeling so bad is it makes you so appreciative when you are better again.

Lets see, since I wrote, my Uncle Dave did the benefit for me. It was a huge success. He was really funny (I heard). He sold out Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle and everyone there had a great time. I was at home not feeling so good, so it was better I wasn't there anyway. I had an awful week and that's all I'll say about that. Okay, I'll say more. I was curled up in a ball on the bed for days. I honestly didn't think it could get any worse. Kevin had no clue what to do. I know he wanted to help me and there was absolutely nothing he cold do.

I went and got my blood work done and my white blood count was higher than usual. Yeah!! My red blood count was at an all time low though. I knew I was anemic because I was so tired, dizzy, light headed etc.. Being anemic just makes my body feel like crap. On Friday I woke up and to my surprise I finally felt great. I was so excited. This was my opportunity to go out with some friends (white blood count up and feeling good). I got a group of friends to go out to dinner and a movie with me. I think I had a permanent smile on my face the entire night. I was so happy to be with my friends and really excited to just be out of the house and around other compant other than Kevin and Chloe (no offense). Even watched the playoffs at my friend’s house on Sunday. And by the way congrats to the Steelers, who are going to the Superbowl. Bettis will be playing in his hometown. Pretty cool. Everyone in my Fantasy Football league knows how much I love Bettis.

So, the big question is.........am I going through more Chemo? I don't know, but I have to know by this Friday. I'm leaning towards no, but I change my mind every two days or so. I have been reading so much about alternative medicine. I have thousands of pages literally surrounding me. There are a thousand more pages I’m about to get at the book store today. It never ends. I guess there is no right decision, just the right decision for me. I'm thinking the best decision for me is to stop Chemo and move on to radiation. Then I will go through all the tests again to make sure I'm clear.

So, I guess Friday I will be writing a new journal entry letting everyone know the final decision. I still will go to my Chemo appointment. I’m having a couple more tests done that might help me understand how to better prevent myself from a reoccurrence or developing a new cancer. Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll write again on Friday. Take care. Lots of love

Shannon