Sunday, September 28, 2008

Pregnancy Scare

SUNDAY, AUGUST 31, 2008 01:21 PM

I have no pictures of the pregnancy scare I went through, so instead you get my sister with her new wax lips.

I wasn’t as positive and happy at the tail end of my trip to Houston as I would have liked to be. You all usually write me and say my positive thinking is so inspiring and that I always make the best of things. Well, I am FAR from that at times. I did pretty good making the best of the Houston trip for a while, but I ran into some snags at the end of the trip. On Wednesday I went straight from the airport in Houston, to MD Anderson to have them draw my blood. It takes two hours to process, so I get this done the day before my appointment so when I go in on Thursday I don’t have to wait for my results. Usually, I get the blood test, my results are fine and then they watch me take the pills and that’s it. That is seriously what they have me fly out to Houston for every week (blood test and to witness pill taking). Well this week, I got the blood test and then went to my appointment the next day. (Here is where you will all know more about me than you need to know) They started asking me about my last period which was over a month and a half ago. I hadn’t had a period for a whole year while I was on chemotherapy because it shuts down your system. So, when I finally did have a period I was so excited because it was the first hint that my body wasn’t completely messed up from doing so much chemo. Anyway I had the one period and haven’t had another yet. This didn’t surprise me though, because I figured it takes a while for things to go back to normal. They asked me about my birth control methods and I could see where this was going. Then she said “because we have a concern about this.” I said, “A concern that I am pregnant???” And they both looked at me and said yes. They said my blood tested positive for pregnancy showing an elevated BCHG level. I’m thinking are you kidding me? If I was pregnant I would have to stop the study and that is exactly what they told me to do. They made me take a urine pregnancy test and another blood test to be sure. I had to come back in 3 hours for all the results.

This is where Paul and I had a nice lunch, but I’ll stay on track with the pregnancy story first. Paul got to listen to me obsess about how they were telling me I was most likely pregnant. After our lunch I hunted down the first CVS I could and bought the double pack of EPTs (home pregnancy test). I couldn’t wait for MD Anderson so I had to go get my own home pregnancy test to see for myself. So there I am at CVS taking the pregnancy test I just bought from them in the employee bathroom. I even waited the entire 2 minutes for the result. It was just a negative sign and there was no plus so now I was convinced that I was now not pregnant and MD Anderson was crazy.

So, finally the three hours were up and I could go back to MD Anderson so they could tell me I could stay on the study. BUT, my blood tested positive again (but this time it was lower), but my urine tested negative. What the hell???? They said the blood can sometimes show positive earlier than the urine test. It was abnormal that the hormone in the blood would be lower, but my body is a little screwy anyway it could be a possibility. MD Anderson was still convinced that I was pregnant.

I was given the choice to either stay in Houston so I could get tested again on another day or go to an OBGYN on Friday in Michigan and have them test me one again. If I didn’t get the okay from a doctor I was off the study all day Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday (labor Day) and Tuesday until I tested negative). That is way too long to be off the study. They might kick me off because I would screw up their results being off the drug so long. I had to get an appointment for the next morning. I almost missed my flight out from Houston because MD Anderson kept me so long.

Kevin got me an emergency appointment for Friday morning at some OBGYN across the street from us. I filled out an hours worth of paperwork to go back and get a cup to pee in. Then, FINALLY the doctor came in. She said and I quote “I’ve been looking over your file and I’m taking it that this wasn’t expected?” WHAT?!?!?! (3 deep breaths) That is what they say to pregnant people. She said that my urine tested positive and with the blood hormone levels she was convinced that I was pregnant. I argued that the hormone decreased in the blood and that wouldn’t be the case if I was pregnant. At this point I am not taking the news very well and my mind is racing. How in the world could I hold a baby when I can barely keep my body in check? How much damage could the drugs already done to a baby? What is going to happen if I can’t be on treatment? I’m still not buying that I am pregnant so I tell her I would go get another blood test at Beaumont. I get on the phone and make an immediate appointment to get the blood tested. While doing this, the doctor leaves to go test the urine one more time. After I hang up she comes back in the room with this funny look on her face. Then, she explains to me that I don’t need to go to Beaumont anymore. She tells me that her nurse accidentally marked positive on the report when she meant to mark negative. I was in fact NOT PREGNANT. What the heck!?!? They marked positive on mistake? SERIOUSLY?? I just went through this big emotional rollercoaster in my head because your nurse accidentally marked positive? I know it is a mistake, but come on. I just needed to come back from Houston and relax and instead I am going through this crap.

Moral of the story is I am not pregnant, this doctor will not get my business (ever), and I did not blow through this day like I would have liked with my positive attitude. Yes, I have some major bad and stressful days and I get pissed, tired and cranky. It’s all over, I am back on the trial drug and not I can write about this little experience. I’m doing a lot better today.
So I’m sure we all have days like this where no matter what our intentions are, situations turn against us. Nothing can seem to go right and we are being tested like you wouldn’t believe. Things get to us so quickly we cannot seem to remember what we should do to not let things stress us out. Maybe the more you practice the easier it gets. As long as we have the mental mindset to let these days happen without crushing us to the ground, we can wake up the next day with another positive intention. Lets be honest, the probability that this day will be better than the last (when you’ve had a day like the one I did) is pretty high. Now that’s gives you something to look forward to.

Your NOT pregnant friend

(Paul and I had a great visit. I got to shop. We watched a funny movie. The next day we went to lunch in the underground tunnels system in downtown Houston. It's so cool and very secret unless you are a business person. There are elevators in the business buildings that take you to this underground tunnel system with resturants, a food court, a mall, convenience stores, dentists, spas...everything. Now you have all learned something very cool about Houston)

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